“We spend precious hours fearing the inevitable. It would be wise to use that time adoring our families, cherishing our friends and living our lives.”― Maya Angelou
The zombie apocalypse is here my friends. All you have to do is look around in a coffee shop, while you’re waiting in like at the market, even watching people drive through an intersection as you sit at the stop light. Multitudes of people, myself included at times, are going through life with their heads DOWN. Cell phones, they have turned us. I used to love sitting in the waiting room at the doctor’s office and chatting with whoever happened to be there. Now, everyone is scrolling through their phones and snickering to themselves. No one is communicating. And it makes me sad. A tiny device that is supposed to be giving us more connection, is actually giving us less. (And our mental health statistics are starting to reflect this).
Enter phubbing. In case you didn’t know, phubbing (a combination of the words phone and snubbing) is just that, ignoring someone in your presence in favor of your phone or other mobile device. While you might not have known what the word means, it’s certainly a part of your everyday life. We’re ALL guilty of doing this (unless you don’t own a phone or tablet). {Do these people even exist?} And we’ve all been phubbed…so we know it feels like crap when we are ditched in favor of what may (or may not even) be happening on someone’s phone. Studies show that even placing your phone on the table when you are with someone else (and it doesn’t matter if it’s face down…nice try) causes the person you’re with to feel less important.
Phubbing is a habit that is just plain bad for our health. The largest study has shown that phubbing threatens four of our fundamental needs:.
- belongingness
- self-esteem
- meaningful existence
- control
Bottom line is it makes people feel ostracized and left out. Phubbing is FOMO on steroids. It’s worse because it’s happening right in front of our faces. Imagine standing outside the door of a {super fun} party you were invited to, everyone sees you standing there at the door, but no one opens it. You’re left watching everyone have a great time…without you. It’s kinda like that. {Super sucky!}
So, just like another favorite quote of mine from Maya Angelou says, “…when you know better, do better”, let’s all make a commitment to do better at being present with the people right in front of us. Let’s leave our phones in our purse or our pocket or in the car. Let’s establish a device-free time during meals. {My kids are super thrilled about this one}. And, above all, let’s commit to keeping our phones OFF the table when we are with our people. Our health and our relationships depend on it!
Light and Love,
♥k