I came up with the name for this blog about two years ago. I had no idea what I was doing (literally, I’m completely clueless with internet/technology stuff). More importantly, I was unsure of what my focus should be…trials of motherhood, minimalist/de-cluttered lifestyle, nutrition, home renovation projects?? I’m fairly knowledgeable and interested in all of these things, but still, I just didn’t know. Nothing felt like the perfect fit. Nothing screamed “this is YOUR purpose“. I was drawn to the idea of an upside down umbrella, but I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why.
Fast forward almost two years (and one half-assed blog post, haha) and I suddenly find myself in the blind-sided moment for which I had unknowingly created this platform. Three months ago IT happened. The phone call. The dreaded words. “You have papillary carcinoma.” I didn’t know it at the time, but doctors don’t like to say the word cancer…definitely not as much as patients hate hearing it, but still, every doctor I have seen since that date has avoided saying the C word. It was three days after that first phone call before anyone said it to my face and it wasn’t my doctor, but one of his staff. She said it so nonchalantly, yet matter of fact, I almost burst into tears on the spot.
Everything after being told you have cancer feels, well, upside down…it feels wrong, it feels overwhelming, it feels surreal, it feels like there is no air and too much air all at the same time. It’s a life changing moment that you can never turn back from. (No matter how freaking badly you want to). It has taken me three months to go through all the stages of grief associated with such a diagnosis and now here I am, ready to do battle and ready to share my journey in hopes that I can help others who, just like me, have become an upside down umbrella.
Light and Love,
K